Martha Stewart and Such

Well peoples, I will be on National Television, again (thanks to a previous Martha Stewart Show and "What Would You Do?").

Today I had my second "extra" experience, if being an audience member counts as being an extra.  I was on the Martha Stewart show (raise your hands and applaud loudly, please remember your does of aspirin just before going to the show--it's helps ease the pain of the rocking headache buzzing in your head from the enthusiastic cheers of yourself and the people around you).  Technically I was Audience Member 129ish.  I know you are jealous.  Instead of a measly $79 paycheck, I spent only 4 hours in the studio AND I got a couple of free gifts beginning with pop and ending with corn.

Let me tell you of the entire experience. It is long and drawn out so you may need to go get a drink of water or something.

I arrived and met up with my friend, S.M.  We chatted, took pictures, wrote memos and laughed at all the tourists. Okay we really didn't write memos or laugh at tourists, but it sounds like a NYC thing to do, right?

We went in and we sat close to the complimentary water. It was at that moment my stomach informed me that eating beforehand would have been a dandy idea and it continued to scold me through the entire proceedings.  It may do well to mention that me and hunger--we don't get along.  Usually we put lots of food between us so that we do not have to make eye contact, but it happens on occasion.

Then Joey came out, he's the comedian that gets the crowd "pumped" for the show.  This guy did not have to prep me. I came with a goal to be so enthusiastic that I would get the free stuff--no doubt on earth it should come to me.

Note how it looks like Joey is touching a butterfly.

I let my friend know of my plan to win the extra stuff. She agreed that wild enthusiasm would be key.  So we waited, watched a show of Ms. Stewart and a guest or two. We moved to the other room in hopes of going to the filming room sooner.  It didn't work.  They take people by the color on their cards (ours was pink).  We got up there with all the other pink people.


Prior to going up they told all of us that it was vital that we stay in our seats and only take pictures sitting down.  Cha right, we're a crowd--who sits for a picture?!

Finally we made it to the filming room and were directed where to sit (third or fourth row up third or fourth seat in). We saw another Martha Stewart sign and of course I had to have a picture with that (I love taking pictures). Soooo, I took a picture of my friend.  We swapped spots and she got a picture of me.  It was when we were swapping spots they announced firmly again, please stay in your seats.  Then before we switched seats again I looked around to see if any of the headset bearing officials were watching us. I thought the coast was clear when we switched, but I think I may have been wrong.

Standing right by the front row was the official-est of the officials watching me and I am pretty sure she said into her microphone "They've switched seats twice . . ."  I couldn't hear the rest.


She's the person on the lower left hand side.  

A few moments later the security guy walked right up into our row and in front of us.  I thought for sure he was going to ask us to follow him to an office where he would proceed to interrogate us on why we were switching seats. I could imagine us crying and saying, "We only wanted a picture of the stupid sign (oops--I promised my kids I wouldn't say stupid, forgive me) can't we go home now?"

Okay, so my thoughts are super dramatic, it's a curse/blessing.

The security guy--in the suit--which makes officials seem even more official-er, came right up to us looked us in the eyes . . . [dramatic pause] . . . then he looked over our shoulders and asked a group of six people to please sit in their seats to take pictures.

S.M. and I looked at each other and cumulatively sighed with relief, he wasn't there for us.

Soon the show prep included the audience.  They practiced our cheering and tapering out.  We were awesome, especially me, {very smugly} if I do say so myself.  I wanted the free stuff.  The girl next to me also agreed that we both wanted something free and we were hollering and clapping for all we were worth.

Well, I think I must have put enthusiasm on with a trowel.  Poor Joey was like the lone celery stick with an entire can of cheese stuff. The celery is quickly overcome and does his best to ignore the overwhelming cheese (me).  Sorry, Joey--all I wanted was the free stuff you promised the most enthusiastic audience member, otherwise it would have never come to this (again, with the dramatic thinking--I know, I am a bit of a cornball and I am proud of it).

I am 92.7431 percent sure my enthusiasm got the attention of at least Elizabeth Hasselback and Martha Stewart.  The other people seemed a little to nervous to glance at the crowd for more than two seconds (I know I would have been).

At one point they asked the audience members to come up with a couple of questions for Ms. Stewart.  I gave them a question, "What is the best kind of garden to grow in a small space, like a NYC apartment?"  I knew she had to know the answer to that and that she would answer it and I was informed I could raise my hand and ask the question.

But it was not to be--people on the floor portion of the studio got to ask the question, after Ms. Stewart told Joey he often misses the floor folks, he sure didn't after that. Also this guy that I noticed hardly ever clapped behind me got some free stuff--maybe the key to getting free stuff is to act like a statue.  I was miffed, but only momentarily.  Thanks again, Joey.

Also, there were about six men in the audience. Four of them got the free stuff.  Three of them were invited to dance.  Sheesh.  There were about eight free things.  Not to complain, but that is how it was.  I was dancing. I was living it up (partly because if they show me on the screen maybe my family will see me and it will be like I was waving at them across the country with a two-day delay).

Then it was over.  I came home with a whopper headache, kettle-corn popcorn and a stove-top popcorn maker my kids are sooooo excited for me to use for them.

It was a great experience, even if I didn't get to ask my question or get the free stuff.  It's okay, Joey. I forgive you.  Did you ever take the lady to the restaurant where you know the chef? White Castle, wasn't it?  What did she get? Has she had a heart attack yet?  Only kidding. Sort of. Okay, my ultra-dramatics are now off.

It will air on January 27 on the Hallmark Channel.