Thursday, January 26, 2012

Rachael Ray Show

For a brief moment, imagine that you and I are talking and I am really excited about something.  My voice is on that low tone--brimming with excitement as I say, "On an upcoming episode of Rachael Ray, I'm featured for a whole ten seconds! [Happy girly squeal]." You get the idea. . .

A couple of the most amazing women, Deborah and Whitney, watched my kids (seriously--what fabulous friends!!!) because honestly when they say they'll watch your kid(s) for you it means they're willing to take their whole day to support you. And then there are the friends that know your situation about getting babysitters for the duration and try to alleviate some of the stress by going to the line and waiting a very long time in freezing cold weather so we can for sure get in (thank you Charity and Nelta).

Others things you may want to know about going to these talk shows are that you get in and they are taping, it's great. It really is--you get to watch them film, you get to see the hosts do and say funny things that don't necessarily make the cut.  You get free stuff upon occasion, which you should be grateful for and not expect too much (but inevitably always go with great expectations).

But, if you ever plan on going to a talk show it is like the rest of show business--a LOT of waiting.  If you're up for that, then you too, can be a talk show guppy.   

Now, this next part is changed so you can see what happened and what I felt through my eyes (but, it's you).  

But then there is that one shining moment, when the reality star walks on stage, that one that doesn't have a lot of gossip swirling around their personal life, the one who actually might be a real Joe that cooks cakes, cookies and cannoli.  The "Cake Boss" himself walks on stage and starts getting fancy with the frosting.  You know it is going to be good and you salivate over the cupcakes.

Then there is also the time when one of the authors of a parenting book you own and use upon occasion walks on stage and begins telling the hostess about things children can do and you say to yourself, "I've always wanted to see her in person.  Super Nanny seems as lovely as she does on television."

From the Rachael Ray Show Facebook Page
But, the moment of all moments arrives and the camera guy sets his camera up next to you and all the questions you had in your head can come out, only you know you have to let them do their work and not be too invasive and then the guy's pal tells you that you cannot talk to the first guy because he's on probation--and his face is completely serious--completely.  Then you  nod and turn away so the probationary guy doesn't lose his job--only to have the so called probationary guy blush annoyed-ly and say, I've been working int he business for 20 years. The "whistle blower" guy chuckles to  himself.and you know you've been hoodwinked and embarrassed the not-really-on-probation guy. Yeesh. 

Then Rachael does a segment on fashion and to whom does she point for positive fashion sense. To you, the one that received the aforementioned fashion advice twenty minutes before from your friend in waiting room three and amended your scarf to their fabulous idea.    Suddenly the cameras turn on you and you try to act all calm and like it's no big deal but the fact of the matter is you're moving around your seat almost like a mouse attempting to find a corner to hide in when it is in a bowl.  Not only that, but your advice giving friend is next to you kindly clearing her throat and the lady behind her is insisting that her scarf-tying skills are amazing and she's glad Rachael noticed. . . but Rachael points you and says, "No, her on the front row." And you feel so . . . validated. It's so nice.  You feel like you've been hugged by a lot of fun people.

Suddenly you notice your arms are quivering--like you're cold or having a slight caffeine over dose.  You note to yourself, "Even breaths, take even breaths. That. Was. Awesome!!" The last part in your head is about an octave higher than your normal speaking voice.

And. . . the show moves on.  Okay, now the show is undboutedly and undeniably the best show ever.